Jolie – Carrottop Hookup

Carrottop and Angelina Jolie Before there was Brad there was Billy Bob Thornton, before that Jenny Shimizu, and Jonny Lee Miller, and who of us would like to have all our affairs blasted across the headlines and internet for the prurient interests of the unwashed masses? But this one was too good to pass up, too hot to make the pages of the recent biography of the star Angelina Jolie by unauthorized biographer Andrew Morton and too scandalous for any other reputable publisher than The Yellow Press.
A less than reputable, but otherwise verbose source has informed us that among her many flings, Angelina has managed to conceal a long and candid association with musclebound Las Vegas funnyman Carrottop. Where they met and how they carry on has yet to be confirmed but our confidential source informs us that both are smitten as kittens and will tie the knot as soon as the dust settles from the imminent implosions to occur in each of their lives.
     Carrottop, all beefed up, reportedly has no fear of bad Brad, and wishes him the best but knows that he must follow his heart. Angelina also harbors no ill will and only wants what is best for the children, a healthy, happy home filled with love and weight-lifting equipment. Pitt is rumored to have gone into a deep funk and sulks about the house in baggy stained sweat pants eating frosted flakes and drinking copious amounts of Aguafina. He’s reportedly made efforts to get in touch with Jennifer Aniston but has been rebuffed by her handlers who claim she is in the middle of reestablishing her relationship with Ross, who is taking an extended leave of absence from his job as a museum curator.

DavidW - Publisher

Raised in obscurity and completely entranced with the notion that we should live our lives with the same valuable ethic that a conscientious hiker would, leaving no trace.

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