Girlfriend Troubles

So my girlfriend is great. She’s more attractive than a set of neodymium barbells, smarter than the combined intellects at The Claremont Institute, well that might not be saying much as they rank only as high as the subjects studied at SNBL USA, but she is really smart, like she knows everything. She can be kind but she has her moments of ruthlessness and I love her but am deathly afraid of getting on her bad side. The thing that has me looking for a way to change her, and I know nobody changes anyone but I have to try, is that she wants to know what I’m doing, all the time. She says she’s watching out for me, protecting me, but it scares me the trouble she goes to to keep up with what I’m doing. She makes sure I’m at work and when I get off for the day, watches me on break. She keeps track of every penny I spend, no matter what, and is a real wringer when I don’t give her as much of it as she wants, which is more all the time. She makes me do some stuff I’m uncomfortable with, some of which we won’t go into as it’s private and confidential, but I will say it’s about as uncomfortable or worse than a public groping at the airport. Like one of the things she’s done is pick fights with someone and make me fight them. That’s just one example, another is she tells me she’s going to watch carefully how much she spends and then goes out and blows $7,622 on a coffee maker and $640 on a toilet seat. It would be good if she would listen to my complaints, but she won’t even do that. So what do I do? I love her and sometimes I think she’ll change but if she doesn’t I’m going to have to look for another girlfriend.

DavidW - Publisher

Raised in obscurity and completely entranced with the notion that we should live our lives with the same valuable ethic that a conscientious hiker would, leaving no trace.

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