5 Reasons Melanie Griffith Divorcing Antonio Banderas

Melanie Griffith has filed for a divorce from her husband of 18 years, Antonio Banderas citing irreconcilable differences. Sources close to the couple have come forth to explain that the marriage is over and that the couple has had difficulties off and on of late but that the primary reasons for the dissolution are that Melanie has five primary beefs about Banderas.

1. His smoking. Banderas is a big cigar smoker, and we do mean big. Despite being significantly well off, Antonio prefers large, cheap cigars.
2. His weight. As a middle aged man is wont to do, Banderas has developed a prominent pot-belly.
3. Nudity. Antonio apparently has a penchant for padding about the house and grounds nude, an incident when he was using the weed-eater was the last straw.
4. Eating habits. Banderas likes soft boiled eggs he cracks with his spoon. The sight of a naked grown man eating an egg in a cup would turn anyone cold.
5. He’s hirsute. Griffith tolerated his hairiness for most of the marriage but it became increasingly difficult to accept as his hair began to completely gray.

On a positive note, the couple is splitting amicably, Griffith requesting custody of their daughter, Stella, and Banderas wishing to keep the egg cups and his favorite bathrobe, just in case he needs to make a trip to the mailbox.