Women Can’t Help Being Happy

It’s old news to anyone who thinks about it for a minute, but scientists have now confirmed that women are naturally happy. And why wouldn’t they be? Lookit at em. I’d be happy too if I was a woman, well probably not, don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. But seriously, why wouldn’t they be? Born in numbers less than the opposite sex of the species, with time they become the majority in just a few years. Generally smaller and weaker bodily than their male counterparts they still manage to overrule men in almost every decision, training them through the most effective means, heck there are even males that put the lid down. Men are brutes, women beauties. Artists draw men with crude angular strokes, women with smooth curves. Women are the fairer sex. Men are made from remnant snips and snails and puppy dog tails. I’d be immediately happier if I had fewer snips and snails in my genetic makeup.

And there’s the rub, the science shows that the genetic makeup of woman makes her biologically happier. How can anyone compete with that? More science shows that our basic blueprint hardwires us for different lives. Of hunters and gatherers who wouldn’t rather traipse among the daisies plucking a few ripe apples than scuttling under the belly of a ticked off woolly mammoth and trying to stick him with a little wooden spear while he attempts to trample you with his big large mammoth feet or gore you with ten foot long tusks. Of course women are happy, they drive great big shiny trucks and don’t have to put anything in them but a few grocery bags. A man that drives a truck has to help move furniture for all his friends, haul loads of roadbase that then must be moved by shovel and wheelbarrow to the jobsite and then placed scrupulously  where the woman wants her garden path. The tragedy is that it took some scientist to tell us what we knew all along.