Oh That Bruce!

That rascally Bruce, just what is (s)he up to now? A new shade of pink? Something silky and slinky? When one starts shaving more than their facial hair just where does it all end and did all those swimmers invent manscaping just to be faster in the water? Maybe Mike Mozart is the only one with any real answers to these kinds of questions but we here at The Yellow Press ain’t afeared to give it a go ourselves.

Oh mercy mercy me, things ain’t what they used to be. Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. All options are open, come right up, pay yer nickel and get yer own self a new doo! Someone I know, given their druthers would be a famous crooner. If the lottery was in the stars another friend would go off the grid, like wayyy off. Met a man once who was dying, he wanted things another way than they were, so he sat inside his house, could barely make it to the mailbox, smoked that medical stuff incessantly, told me he was loving life, living the dream as he puffed and held deep. He’s gone now, as is his pain, who’s to say that that wasn’t the way things were supposed to work out. Another friend coincidentally often says the exact same thing, “Loving life, living the dream.”, he doesn’t touch the stuff, hang-glides, skis better than an invincible teen, works twenty hour days but still finds time for his fam, and, as far as I know doesn’t wish for anything more than the best for everyone he’s ever met.  If wishes were horses every eight year old would have a pony, some a My Little Pony, some a rootin – tootin buckskin like Matt Dillon straddled. (Little known fact, John Wayne hated horses.) Careful what you wish for it might just come true. Bruce wants something to accentuate his long legs, to set off his lush locks, to look the way (s)he feels. Vladamir wants the Ukraine, mainly for the gymnasts. We all have wishes, perhaps having just them and having them stay just wishes is the best outcome possible. Hard to say if Bruce Jenner’s new protuberances will  satisfy or if (s)he will have regrets and longings for the original factory version.

Longing to be something else, to have things shake out differently is not particularly new or newsworthy, we poor folk just watch to see whats gonna happen next. Oh those wealthy neighbors, what’s the color they’ll paint their house and are they really eating that much better?