So one would think the zoo is a safe place, the animals are caged, the people on their best behavior what with sll the families introducing the little ones to cotton candy and lions, tigers and hyenas and other rapacious carnivores. Well safe, not so much so. All I did was snap a pic of this ape, an orangutan, and the next thing I know he’s got me by my beard and is slamming my head against the bars and if the adrenalin hadn’t kicked in quick he’d of gnawed the flesh off my arm slicker than #Gabriel Iglesias can cleave the goodness of a corndog from its little stick. Look at the photo of the beast, see that smile, looks like someome you would trust to watch your laptop at the library while you went to the water fountain for a drink. But no, behind that grin is a set of bicispids that would make a monster in a Sigourney Weaver movie look like a #Furbie. And arms, the monkey had arms longer and more muscular than a backwoods Alabama hoyden. If a #marmoset in the cage next door hadn’t let out a shriek and startled him into letting go of my facial hair I likely would be chinless tonight. Yep, learned my lesson, next time turn off the flash.
- Small Town Politics, Langley Washington
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