Codpiece Trump Cancels Appearances

Codpiece Trump, or his Nibs as he is sometimes called has cancelled some appearances after misplacing both his hair stylist and baseball cap at the same time. “Suzie’s the best I tell you, the best and without her or my cap I can’t appear. Someone send a plane back to Cleveland for the cap. It’s my favorite cap, you know the one with the two letters on it. Oh and pick up Suzie on the way back, Melania borrowed her and now I need her back.” Codpiece said. Rallies for the next few days have been cancelled so Trump can adequately recover from the shock. His faithful are grilling weenies in sympathy, awaiting word of his return to the national stage. Codpiece Trump has vowed to continue his rapprochement of his primary rival for the position on most significant weevil on the planet, Crooked Hillary, saying, “Look at her, the only thing attractive about her is her beer barrel calves. I can find better at the dollar store. And I can shop anywhere, New York, Lithuania, Paris, California.”