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Tough Times Call For Desperate Measures

Bryce Byrd – The Owl Pellet King!

The world is going to heck, depending upon who one listens to. Should things go south it’s important to have a backup plan, a trade to fall back on, a diversified income. The Yellow Press can help with that. Below are our entrepreneurial business ideas that require little in the way of capital investment and can bring in an income should your well paid tenure at the muffler shop peter out.

  •  Collect and sell owl pellets. People still wanna know what’s inside stuff. Owls are everywhere. Owl pellets are upchucks, not poop. Inside are lots of little bones and bits of things they ate. How cool is that? Find them under places where owls perch. Bake them in the oven for 40 minutes at 325 degrees to sterilize. Pack and ship. $.
  • Be a janitor. A janitor needs little in the way of tools to operate. Get rags, brooms, cleaners, mops and go to it. Practice at home. Work for friends, businesses, rich folks. Everyone likes a clean place. Think of the possibilities, working in a bank after hours. $.
  • Agriculture. Let nature do all the work. $.
  • Be a baker. Flour is an inexpensive commodity, add water let it sit around and in no time – sourdough starter. Weave your dough into fancy braids. The oven helps heat the house. Make cakes. Make pies. Make cookies. Make brownies. Everyone likes brownies. $.
  • Act as an artist. Art is in the eye of the beholder. Someone will like what you do. Dance and leave a hat upside down nearby. Strum and leave a baseball cap upside down with a dollar in it at your feet. Wail and hold your hand out. Scribble and starve. Sketch and scratch. $.
  • Get elected. Most places don’t even have a filing fee. Solicit businesses for tax deductible contributions. Promise anything. $.
  • Be a hit man. Garrotes can be improvised from shoelaces. Rocks and sticks can be found. Use the element of surprise, better weapons will come as your venture prospers. $.

When things go sour it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. A slab of cardboard sign isn’t a business plan.

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