Skip The Toad Lick, Get Fish Bit

Forget licking that slimy toad and move straight to the hard stuff man, for a good otherworldly vibe get fish bit. Sales of aquariums and aquarium supplies have skyrocketed now that the word is out you can get that same out of body experience that did in Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix and Amy Winehouse by rearing Fang Blennys at home. Sales of the little fish, it looks like a cross between a small sculpin and  a bland neon tetra, are also leaping out of the pond now that science has revealed its bite contains an opioid compound similar to heroin. In the wild the small predator is able to subdue much larger prey by lying in wait, lunging out with its hypodermic fangs and inoculating passerby. The hapless victim is blissfully tranquilized and when happily drifting, nibbled away at until nothing remains. The Fang Blenny has just enough venom to cause a human to fall into a mild dreamlike trance and aquarium fanatics who raise the little dear for effect have reported that one or two piercings per day is quite enough to melt the troubles of a stressful day away and inspire one to musical greatness. The practice also has the added benefit of being natural, unregulated and won’t show up in urinalysis. Aquarium vendors have embraced the sales trend, offering the first bite free.

DavidW - Publisher

Raised in obscurity and completely entranced with the notion that we should live our lives with the same valuable ethic that a conscientious hiker would, leaving no trace.