Barefooters are a menace to society. Traipsing thier misshapen dirty feet into our grocery stores and filling stations, displaying thier callouses, corns, bunions and barnacles for all the world to see. Going without shoes, that is, going about unshod, naked, is the newest trend among our seditious youth and the folly threatens to unravel the very threads of our culture.
Early man had no shoes, his feet blistered and tore. He invented the shoe, problem solved, he could pursue the hairy mammoth at Nike speed, leaping over the backs of the clumsy antelope that blocked his penultimate goal, the great white fuzzy mammoth. Yes, and having slain the fearsome tusked beast there was rough material to make shoes for all. And that began the great tapestry of human advancement, and some would say, wove into it’s warps and woofs the threads of it’s own undoings, for women were permitted to wear them as well and no longer stayed to home in thier caves, pregnantly gathering berries and tubers for the dinner slab but wandered far and abroad until they became the Imelda Marcos foot frenetics we tolerate today.
Shoes, for man, were the beginning and the lack of wearing shoes will be our undoing. Shoes drive the economy, spending money on footwear is a veritable leadfoot on the gas pedal that drives the finances of our global well being. Who do you know that hasn’t bought a pair of cowboy boots. This fashion of shoelessness, of going barefoot has its roots in the liberal left, the very people who advocate that doctors work for free and that drug manufatures and health insurance ceo’s give up thier second homes in Barbados and their trophy wives in stilleto heels. And this is why they want healthcare, so they can ruin thier lungs and absentmindedly wander about on the rough gravels of life, destroying thier soles and abusing the free podiatrists for massages and acupuncture.
Time to lace up the Doc Martens and stomp the toes of this fashion trend before it gets a foothold and brings our nations down.