Deer Infestations Surge

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HthspnB_6hw&feature=youtu.be      Think deer are cute, those little speckled fawns gamboling near their beautiful large eyed mother doe with her mate the majestic antlered buck nearby. Yea they’re cute, until they fearlessly roam the neighborhood in broad daylight, gnawing everything in sight back to bare broken branches and dusty dirt. The pernicious vermin have finally gotten on my last nerve by chewing my tomato plants back to the little wire cages I’d put around them to help start them on their way in their innocent beginning. Lookit em, masticated down to stubs, and withering yellowed leaves, dying because of the evil scourge of deer, (rats with hooves), that plague not just my small neighborhood but are now a nationwide noxious nuisance. It has been said that there are now more cervidae, rats with hooves, on the North American continent that when Lief Ericson first set foot on the continent. And why is that? You can probably blame a liberal. They are the ones that passed all the rules that say you can’t pop one out your back door and make chili. They are the ones feeding them apples and carrots and ooohing and ahhing and petting them and trying to get the antler arch in Jackson Hole, (Yup Jackson Hole, not the abridged, politically correct name the town now goes by.) torn down and given a respectful, symbolically obtuse burial replete with drum circles and waving feathers and stuff. If the dippies keep having their way we’ll soon be up to our eyeballs in Preble’s meadow jumping mice, Uinta mountain snails, El Segundo blue buttterflies and wapiti.

Now the flippin hippy dippies have got a point, some stuff needs to be left alone to prosper, but they miss the boat on the big picture. When a species prospers, it’s time to eat em, or thin em, or stick pins in em and mount them on the wall, take that Great Spangled Fritillary! This editor, needs some chili in his pot and he has the beans and the powder, time for a little hoofed rat meat.