Megamouth Shark Caught Off Japan, Limbaugh Denies Paternity

A rare shark known for the obscene size of its mouth, the megamouth, has been caught off the shores of Japan where it was found feeding on the ignorant, innocent wrasses that abound in the region. Over thirteen feet in length, the megamouth shark is usually found in the deepest dark recesses of the briney ooze but in recent decades it has been brazen enough to display its bloated white bulk in the light of day. A sighting from Japan is extremely rare however as it typically lounges about a well fenced compound in southern Florida, splashing about with ugly showy ferocity that is often just a false display of intimidation, easily thwarted with the mention of hypocrisy or vicodin.
In an unrelated story, Comedian Rush Limbaugh has issued a blanket denial of paternity to all possible parties as a preemptive move should anyone be able to acertain the whereabouts of famed nursery tale member Wee Willie Winky who hasn’t been seen in years. Limbaugh has managed to spawn several fishy tales and slimy schools of fans however, many of which dive and whirl at his presence.