Fame Equals Fortune, Five Ways to Get Rich

Make money by becoming famous. Have no talent, have no skill, not a problem, just work the right angle and you too can profit from even limited fame. Let’s get on thing straight, the modern world is vastly different than the small town model where everyone knew your name and what you were up to. If you walked with a limp in the old days and held out a cup to get drinking money by claiming to be a civil war veteran who was wounded at the battle of Bull Run, everyone in town knew you got your game leg slipping on the riverbank late one night while trying to steal old man Bartrom’s chickens. If they put a nickel in your cup it was to shut you up or see what new foolishness you came up with when you scraped up enough for a bottle. But today, with the anonymity of a ponderously large population you can gain fame, and thusly,  wealth, by using several time proven methods that would have failed in the not so recent past. Granted, your prosperity may be minor, or short lived, and you may even do some time in the slammer, but for a while you might just live like a king. Here we show you five ways you can get ahead quick by generating a bit of notoriety, use them at your discretion.

• Be a Victim. People are always ready to help out their brothers and sisters. Claim to have a terrible ailment that requires expensive treatment. We know of a man whose nephew has been living large for over a dozen years or more while dying of a rare terminal cancer. Your dollars keep him in an apartment, dope and Cheetos.
• Sponsor a Victim. Don’t have the acting chops to feign your own illness or injury? Use someone else’s misfortune to line your pockets. A child is the best subject. Find one, preferably your own, who got a bad scrape on the playground and claim the injury was the result of a major corporations’ lack of  manufacturing oversight. When the nightly news picks up the story, you’re golden.
• Espouse a Cause. Interests are so varied these days you are almost certain to find a group of ardent followers who want to Save The Lemmings or believe that groats should be ethically harvested to spare them the suffering they have undergone for centuries. As spokesperson for the charity one can pay themselves a reasonable salary.
• Do Something Stupid. Think Johnny Knoxville. He’s worked very hard to keep it up, but by applying dumb to many activities he’s become a star, and rich.
• Get Naked. We sometimes hate to name names, after all Sharon Stone was a very good actress before she became a household name, but naked sells. The list is endless and growing daily, Lady Godiva, Isadora Duncan, Madonna, Janet Jackson, all the Kardashians, what’s her name Jenner. Maybe we could be a little less prurient and let anyone that wanted to cavort about in the buff do so, it would be a lot less interesting, like the dudes at Blacks Beach.

  

These are just a few of the many ways to prosper by becoming notorious, got more? Use the Comments Area below to tell us what they are.