University of Washington Students To Choose Cheerleaders

The University of Washington has responded to it’s recent scandal involving the objectification of women by instead permitting its student body to select its cheerleading staff. The decision is widely hailed as a positive step by the students, who promise to make more  responsible decisions than the elderly gentlemen formerly in charge of the process. The student government has already drawn up a list of criteria in the form of a multiple choice selection chart that will be used to elect the eight member squad, (six active and two reserve). Various parameters will be available in an effort to ensure equality in the selection process such as; male / female, natural / altered, hot / not, large / small, light / dark, thin / pleasingly plump, vivacious / lackluster, doable / pew. An initial motion by some members of the governing body to limit the selection process to the male members, as the only ones with a true appreciation of the activity was tabled.