Give Santorum Benefit of Doubt
The conventional media is giving presidential hopeful Rick Santorum, well, heck for comments he made regarding a JFK speech on the separation of church and state that the founding fathers of this nation thought important enough to ink it into our articles of incorporation. Santorum was said to have been sick to his stomach reading the speech and news outlets have stated that he doesn’t believe in that hallowed division between the way people are governed and the beliefs they hold sacred. The Yellow Press never accepts such stories at face value, preferring to think things through, as it knows it’s faithful readers are wont to do.
What if Rick ain’t wrong? Every person in a position of power is influenced by their beliefs, life experiences and prejudices. A decision to cross the street is not a lot different than any other decision regarding our health and well being. When we elect someone to a position in the government we entrust them to keep us from the paths of speeding buses. and renegade marsupials, should they misbehave. Let’s give Rick the benefit of a doubt. Some people aspire to positions of trust with only the highest of motives, that of the best for those in their care. Santorum is purportedly a Christian man, we can’t say, we don’t know him personally and our idea of what Christian morals are may be different than others, so we should posit what might become of a people under a leader whose values are those of what his are reported to be. A google search of his surname reveals some uncomfortable results, we urge our readers not to go there but to instead rely on their preconceptions of the man as a right wing, dyed in the wool conservative.
Now George was of a similar stripe and things only went a little off the rails under his rule. We had FBI memos painting all adherents of the Islamic faith as terrorists. We had a return to medieval torture methods, I’d say anything underwater, but I’m weak. We had no-bid contracts, which during previous wars would be treasonable acts of profiteering. We had No-Child-Left-Behind, not sure how that really panned out but the smart teachers I know hated it. So maybe Ricky would go the same route and a little further. Maybe the slogan would stay on the coins, what’s the big deal there anyway? We might loose Planned Parenthood, no big loss there, women and teenage girls have been making good decisions since the beginning of time. I like apple pie. We might have prayer in school, we could certainly use it if this mornings news is any indication. Football games would begin with a solemn imprecation that would continue fervently throughout the game, a practice we’ve followed religiously for years anyway. Maybe young men would be required to forgo skateboards and all have their hair trimmed neatly above their ears. And there would be no more of those baggy saggy-ass pants, I’ll tell you that.
Allow the commingling of religion and state and we might have a better world. Even if that godless cult member Mitt was elected we might be better off. Many of the changes outlined above may come to pass under his reign as well. Plus we’d have more grandchildren to keep us happy in our old age and some magic underwear to warm us in the cold nuclear winter following the blitzkrieg of Iran. And we’d eat well, for a couple of years anyway.
What if that heathen Barack were to finally come from behind his wife’s petticoats and rule by the tenets of sharia law. Be a lot less crime if we chopped off a few hands, let’s us start with the one-percenters. A man could better count on his wife’s best behavior if he could shoot her when she didn’t have dinner ready on time. Heck I’m all for pummeling anyone that maligns the prophet, and I’m not the only one! Think of how much better our health as a nation would be be if we weren’t eating all that fatty pork and if we had to do deep knee bends three times daily. Not just that but if we adopted their practices we’d at least know which direction east was, which is far more than Bill O”Reilly, Sean Hannity and Alan Combes know as a unit.
No, the happy mixing of religion and politics might turn out to be a good thing. Imagine if every four years we ended up with a whole new spicy mixture of our laws and peoples. That is if one of the groups elected doesn’t wipe out all the others just on principle.