Rob Ford, Livin The Life

Toronto mayor Rob Ford is livin the life. “Those of you on the outside just wouldn’t understand. The life is about seeing things from the inside, from the deep down, on the high side and without the limits of the conventional.” Ford has repeatedly been lambasted for his illicit use of crack cocaine, being caught huffing the stuff while in control of one of Canada’s largest cities. So far he hasn’t steered it into an irrigation ditch, shoplifted any bling from the Ross store or been caught cheating with Detroit, Lansing or Rochester, all of which are certainly desirable and more than willing. He has repeatedly denied his crack use, an almost plausible denial given his great largess, as most crack fiends have flaccid, minuscule keesters, but video evidence has caught him cold, pipe in hand. Unlike most of the Canadian people, who are a fish and noodle eating, mellow race that tend to favor flat beer and sliding giant stones across icy lakes, Ford has proven himself a prevaricating mess of a man whose interests go well beyond the politicians usual vices of greed and wide stances in airport restroom stalls.  Heck, we’d vote for him as mayor of Washington DC.