Buffet Gives Away Riches

The rich are coming to their senses. Enough of the excesses, the opulence, the supercilious greed has lead to a threat of rebellion from the poor starving millions and so the super wealthy have begun to fear for their fortunes, and skins. In an effort to assuage the impoverished hordes, a new tactic is being tried and the uber-privileged are giving away large portions of their fortunes. The effort was initiated by staid, conservative businessman Warren Buffet who was ranked as the world’s wealthiest person in 2009 and now sits at about third place behind Bill Gates and songstress Beyonce. Buffet, who made his millions through shrewd investments in railway, steel and latex stocks began the purging when he came to the realization that the broken shards of glass he had crews of masons embed in the tall perimeter walls surrounding his heavily fortified compound in Omaha, NE would not thwart the insane zombie-like mobs once they could no longer find cake enough to sustain their voracious appetites from storming the castle.
[ad name=”ga468x15link”] Buffet, long one of the coolest heads around, reasoned that even at one percent of his wealth he,  could still eat quite well, began a movement among his peers encouraging the jettisoning of superfluous monies through a benevolent organization, www.givingpledge.org that intends to obtain from the rich and  divest to the poor. The organization is currently overwhelmed with offers of funds from such wealthy individuals as Jake Jabs, George Lucas, rapper Master P and tv pitchman Ron Popeil and is having a difficult time finding people to give the money away to. persons wanting t recieve grants from the organization can find instructions at their website but should be aware that they may not use the money to purchase ciggies, beer, 420 supplies, plastic surgery, temporary gratification and/or pink boas or plastic yard flamingos.

The movement has been such a success among wealthy individuals that it has begun outreach efforts to companies and corporations. While only in it’s beginning stages, interest has been shown by such firms as Ticketmaster, McMaster-Carr and Con-Agra. Most businesses approached by the benevolent organization preferred a micro-loan disbursement approach over a handout model and the board of directors for the non-profit are said to be developing a suitable model.