Phil Robertson Manscaped

p robertsonPhil Robertson, of A&E’s Duck Dynasty fame, and who has recently come under fire for his comments regarding gays and minorities may not be such a bad egg after all just take a gander at what he looks like fully manscaped.  Over half a million people gave a thumbs up to a Facebook page condemning the A&E networks suspension of the popular reality television star after remarks he made were published that could be considered derogatory to those of alternate persuasions. Sources in contact with The Yellow Press explained that the comments Roberts made were likely taken out of context due to his backwoods vernacular and homey way of expressing himself. What he was trying to express was his discomfort around men of inordinate handsomeness and the inadequency he often feels when attending photo shoots that include Ralph Lauren models costumed in skimpy black Speedos. Roberts is also discomfited by the sleek hairless bodies many of these men possess. He himself doesn’t own a razor and worries that even with the great riches he’s managed to acquire through the manufacture of wooden quacker noisemakers, he may not be able to keep up with his newfound buddies with bargain Bics and suntan oil. Roberts also expressed great dismay at his lack of skill at such secular sports as volleyball, figure skating and competitive diving, “Heck man, all I gotta do is point my firestick, yank the trigger and spray em lead pellets, barely even have to aim. If I was to try to do a triple axel I’d likely end up sprawled and sprained, then who’d work the lathe?” he has reportedly said. Nationwide several fans of the popular show have begun to choose sides, some supporting Roberts for his controversial views, others berating his opinions as intolerant and as fluffy as the beard he sports. Either way he sure spiffs up well.

DavidW - Publisher

Raised in obscurity and completely entranced with the notion that we should live our lives with the same valuable ethic that a conscientious hiker would, leaving no trace.

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