Microsoft Patents Disabilities For Gamers

That’s a fact jack, the wizards at the big software company everyone loves to hate have linked your real world phsical attributes, (as determined by banks of computers sifting through all the data in the cloud), to the character you will be able to chose when playing the latest action games on that shiny new Xbox. Think you have the heft to pick up that 50cal machine gun and run full tilt through the mazes of the underworld with a hundred siths hot on your tail? Not if you are really some pimply faced ninety pounder wwho can barely lift a full glass of milk. Them siths are gonna feast on your meager entrails.

Hey fatboy, try huffing around those virtual worlds now that your corpulent ass has been identified by Microsoft software and not only made your lardbutt  a part of your gaming avatar, but restricted your abilities in grand theft auto to where you can only get in and out of a stolen car in a little over a minute and a half.

It really is a stroke of genius, linking all the info about you on the web to every character you chose for gaming, after all the info is out there, and it could serve as healthy inspiration.  But if you are a homely dirt brown brunette who longs to conquer new worlds and protect the worlds antiquities, better not try to be Lara Croft, you’ll end up a flat, two dimensional imitation.

Seriously though, the development could have some real value. What if they linked it to your automobiles abilities? No more mousey housewives hogging the road in behemoth SUV’s, no more little old ladies from Pasadena blowing by you at speed, no more dimwits passing on the right when someone is turning left.  This author has always thought vehicles should be assigned by physical and mental capabilities. Young, agile, buff? You get a Viper. That old fart that actually has one, he gets a Geo. And the author of this article, well, I’ve been on foot now for a couple of years.