Swiss Hopped Up All The Time

Great, new research reports the Swiss are one of the largest users of recreational drugs per capita in the world. Bad enough the smug little dilettantes were loaded up on chocolate and caffeine,  now they are monopolizing a scarce, rainforest- derived local anesthetic of great importance to the medical profession, plastic surgeons in particular, for use in  rhinoplasty and other procedures involving damage and repair of facial features. To say nothing of what day-traders and brokerage phone rooms will do as the internationally marketed substance supply dwindles.

The Swiss, with their insipid techno-beat and stupid Devo hats need to be stopped now and morals instilled in the youth of the nation before they are all Plushies working in league to conquer the globe. Neutral country my fine feathered coccyx. Each and every one of them is forced to own a rifle. Each adolescent must march down and submit themselves to the local draft board and do a term of requisite military service. Now they are loading them up on ego enhancing amphetamines and cranking the volume on the industrial marching music they all share.

When will the world wake up to their duplicitous rapacious nature? Where does the money go from all the interest on those anonymous numbered Swiss bank accounts if not to fund some silver haired, silk-suited megalomaniac with a Siamese cat  languishing in his lap whose dreams involve subordinating us all?