Ten Ways to Own Slaves

Owning your own slave is not an outdated idea. Slaves have been with us since early times. A clan of cavemen would conquer a rival clan, kill off the strong and enslave the weak. The Romans built an empire doing it, the Americans as well. When you can get someone else to do the work and provide them with only enough to keep starvation at bay, hold out most of the bad weather and enough free time to generate more slaves, well it’s a no brainer. Pass me another mint julep.

1. Make it legal. Easy enough when you own the rule makers.
2. Give them a little something. People won’t revolt unless the chains hurt.
3. Let them dream. Lotteries, entertainment and the illusion of freedom or self determination work.
4. Maintain control ruthlessly. Brook no valid dissent.
5. Keep them uneducated. Knowledge is power and we can’t have that.