The Yellow Press, The World’s Least Respected News Source welcomes Ron Lewis to it’s staff as cub reporter.

Below is an example of his wry sense of humor.

If  lamb is spelled with a ‘b’ why isn’t ham spelled hamb?

Pity the poor immigrant in his first English language class that has Ron for an instructor

It’s a sad commentry on the state of our civilization. This headline, “More than 1 million baby slings recalled.” Just what kind of society are we where not only are people sliinging babies, but over a million devices with which to do it have been sold? This reporter finds it appaling that the activity has been going on for a long time, and is only now coming to light as the devices made to sling these infants have been proven to be defective. In what other f the developed nations has anyone ever slung a child? Shouldn.t this activity be banned outright.

We at The Yellow Press ask our readers, Had you heard of this before? How do you feel about it?

Ask any man that works for a living, that is someone who uses both his back and  his brain and he’ll tell you he didn’t need a scientific sdtuy to prove it, it’s just a simple fact; the boss is only the boss because he’s q better liar than  anyone else. But we now have the study anyway, and it proves that not only are they better liars, they have no conscience about it and thusly, are even better liars, ad infinitum.

This study, from the Columbia School of Business verifies that people in power have fewer compunctions about stretching the truth and give out fewer clues to their perfidy and that it is almost in direct correlation to thier lack of conscience and the amount of power they wield.

Professor Dana R. Carney, who studies social judgment and decision making, noticed that in a different area of scientific study, psychologists have observed that power — defined as control over others’ social or monetary outcomes and always accompanied by feelings of power — enhances cognitive functions and makes people feel good. The effects of feeling powerful are precisely the inverse of those that most people experience when they lie.

The study discovered that not only were the liars more apt to be in the positions of power but that simply putting a person in a position of power led them to become a better liar. Much like other experiments that have shown that when an authority figure condones pathological behavior people feel free to perform actions that would otherwise become unconscionable, this study proves that merely vesting power in an individual, corrupts them.

It is the opinion of this reporter that you should never trust a suit, (or a uniform, especially if it’s one of those medal covered green ones favored by South American dictators), even if you are the one wearing it.

What to do when the gas pedal sticks. Of course it wouldn’t be a big deal if most drivers weren’t incorrigible leadfoot, stomp on the gas, mash the brake, fail to signal, hang on, think I dropped my (cellphone, sandwich, lipstick, magazine, baby) kinda drivers anyway. After all, if the gas pedal was only a little depressed, no, we won’t go there, there would be ample time to kill the ignition, use the brakes, steer it calmly out of harms way, bail out at low speed, and/or hand off the baby.

Heck yeah Toyota has to shoulder some blame, and pay for the changes, but maybe this is a good time to get a grip on the big issues of piloting an automobile.

Facts:

• Nothing is perfect, least of all an extraordinarily complex machine.
• All  of  Murphy’s  Laws  can be  applicable in any given instance.
• It  is the pilots  responsibility  to  ascertain the  road worthiness  of  the  vehicle.
• People  rarely weigh over three hundred pounds.
• A  horsepower  is defined as the ability to lift  550 pounds one foot off the ground in one second.
• A lawnmower engine rarely is rated below 3 horsepower.

• What’s your hurry? It’s not like hell is gonna run out of parking spaces.

Somewhere out there is a Toyota driver, mad as heck but driving a car that would never, ever have had a gas pedal problem and he’s wondering if he can get in on some class action suit, and use the money t0 get a Corvette and some Rogaine and he thinks he’s a great driver as he passes on the right, rolls through a right on red and blames the whole darn world for their selfish thoughtless ways, manufacturing a lemon. Yep, he shoulda hung on to that fine American hunk of Corvair iron.

Thought the haircut wars were over, well nothings really ever over in Texas. Seems even preschoolers aren’t immune from the kindergarten attitudes of the people who run the schools in that state.

Gimme a half gallon of milk to go with those brownies, and a bag of Cheetos, and another bag of Cheetos, and maybe another bag of Cheetos.

Tiger Woods has been named as the AP’s athlete of the decade, joining the ranks of other famous individuals, like Wilt Chamberlain.

Why pay for cable when you can get the channels cheap by running a cable nextdoor, or why buy a $35 million drone when you can see what it sees for $25?