Man Draws In Sleep

A man in Britain draws in his sleep. Brits are always eccentric. It’s their nature, same as Aussies are criminally insane, Italians are stylish, Danes are whimsical and Americans are big chested. Brits are eccentric, off center.

So this man in Great Britain draws in his sleep. Awake he isn’t good enough to chalkboard the daily special at Applebee’s but asleep he’s a phenomenon. Check out his talent.

People have been observed to walk in their sleep, sometimes for several miles, occasionally as far as the hereafter. They just get up, step into their bedroom slippers and down the hall, out the door they go. They will stroll along sniffing the roses, amble into model train stores, carry on conversations with people they meet, (Who often wonder what the heck they are talking about and why they aren’t properly dressed.), buy things they wouldn’t normally buy and amble back home, crawl beneath the covers and awake the next day with a lot of ‘splainin’ to do. People will raid the refrigerator while asleep, commit heinous crimes, (blanket stealing), talk or mumble, make water, thrash their limbs wildly about, sweat, divulge state secrets and sometimes even fly in their sleep. But to have a unique ability, and one that is marketable, that only shows when one is sleeping, well, that’s trick.

Something could be made of the fact that his first drawings were of Marilyn Monroe. Something Freudian. She is the stuff of dreams. But not all his drawings are of voluptuaries, some are still lifes, landscapes even kittens and barns. Apparently he has no memory of making the sketches, just wakes up to find them framed and hung. Awake, no talent, asleep a Bruegel.

Only a Brit could possess that level of eccentricity. The British wore bright red coats into battle. The British drink tea, tea! Britain has been to war in every nation in the world but three. The Brits boil their steaks. Their lawyers wear wigs, they wax eloquently on crumpets, their new leader has a bad hairdo and thinks himself a great deal, just like ours, they have clubs that watch clouds and then there are Admiral Boom and Mr. Binnacle. No real surprise that a Brit draws, and draws well in his sleep.

Sceptical researchers set up cameras to document the feat and it turns out that not only does he draw in his sleep but he paints also. The video cameras placed throughout his flat, (Only in England do people reside in flats.), caught him dabbling in watercolor and rendering beautiful fantasy paintings of foreign, alien worlds inhabited by iridescent, greenish hued beings that appear to be eating rather large, thin airy pancakes rolled like crepes. He had stashed hundreds of the watercolors in the hollow of his bed’s box springs and wasn’t aware of them until the researchers pointed them out. Also uncovered during video surveillance was the curious fact that his teeth and sclera floresce a pale, uranium green in the times he is active in his nocturnal creativity, moreso while painting.

The Beatles are from England, their mop-tops were eccentric at their introduction to the world and only became acceptable after the introduction of lsd into our domestic water supplies. And Ringo, well just consider the man, rat a tat tapping all the time, a profile like a cliff’s edge on the Isle of Wight. Someone ought to put him in the movies, make him a big star.

So the eccentric guy who draws and paints now has an online gallery, check it out here.